*sigh* well that's okay then..

TRUE BITCH You have great balance and know when it is a good
time to bitch and when not to. You get the
respect you deserve and you know it! You don't
over-do the bitchyness. Go you!

(results contain pictures) What type of bitch are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ANGRY EYES

What kind of anime eyes do you have? (picture results)
brought to you by Quizilla

hahaha, thank you!

XOXO

* What's Your Brand Name Style? *
brought to you by Quizilla

What's scary is i think i actually own clothing with that name brand..

pathetic

What is your reason for suicide?(with images)
brought to you by Quizilla

..thanks..

69

What is your anime sex position?(images)
brought to you by Quizilla

*laughs* cool.

ugh.. bored.

L.

Tuesday, September 9, 2003 06:16 p.m.

*points to self* HAPPIEST CHICKEN IN THE WORLD

And have been for the past 15 or so minutes!!
Why, you may ask??

Okay. Here's the deal.
I was walking around the mall with Rachel, trying to find out the price of black satin sheets (turned out to cost an arm and a leg) because I couldn't think of anything to get Sally for her 16th. Now, ages ago I remembered telling her that I knew what I was getting her, and that was the black satin sheets. But due to them being $70 a sheet or about$180 a set, i thought that was a bad idea. I love the girl and she's sweet and all, but i don't think that's gonna happen.
Anyhoo, I was complaining to Rachel about not having any idea what to get. After all, what do you get a girl who hates girl stuff?? That rules out so much stuff. I mean, I could have got her g-strings.. but.. um.. well, not my place.
I mean, MY birthday was money out of her bra, bunny ears & a cute card. I can't really do the same there.
So yeah, I'm sitting in the car and the Legally Blonde II Premiere comp comes on, and I was like "Hm, i wonder if I won.." and then i was literally STRUCK with an idea!
SALLY LOVES LEGALLY BLONDE!!!!!!!

Hello!! Perfect Present WHACKING me over the head here!!

So I spend the rest of the time in the car praying I won the tickets... I get home, check my comp... I haven't. So I decide I'll ring up Dave Kelly and see what comps there are.
In a perfect world, I ring up and he just gives them to me. Of course, we don't live in a perfect world.
So I ring up and he hastily explains he has no idea and no tickets and has no clue if there are anymore tickets and why don't I ring up the front desk and speak to someone in promotions? So I get the number & ring up.
So this guy called Keith answers and I ask him if there are any comps because one of my friends birthday's is tomorrow (well, Thursday, but it sounded better..) and she was a die-hard fan and if i got her tickets she's be absolutely thrilled.
He asked if I'd won any, and I said I hadn't, so he asked if I'd be able to pick them up. I was like, yeah, sure. So he goes "I have a double pass sitting in front of me, it's yours if you can pick it up."

OH MY GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?

Hhahahah, so I got tickets!!!!! He gave them to me and I was totally ready to kiss him, all "I LOVE YOU!" like. He was like "Nah, no worries, I like doing nice things for people."
How nice is he???? VERY NICE!
He totally saved me in my dilema, I'm telling you. So dad can pick them up at lunch, mum can drop me and Sally at Belconnen.. all there was to ring Sally.

So I rang her, asked her if she was doing anything tomorrow. She asked what time, because she had a math ass. I said I had her early birthday present... Legally Blonde II Premiere Tickets?
She was like "OH MY FUCKING GOD!! FUCK ME! HOW DO YOU GET THESE?!" Which is understandable.. considering I always seem to snag them one way or another, hehhe.
So I retold the little story about getting them and she was like grinning crazily and going "eeeeeeee!" and all, and I was saying that it was early, and Happy Birthday. and she was saying how that'd probably be the best present, and I said how I was glad I'd made her smile and she said she was grinning like an idiot.

*laughs* So yeah, I've been like, doing cartwheels and screaming (in joy!) for the past half hour. I'm in such a good mood!!
I can't tell you how relieving it is to get tickets and have the present all out of the way and the fact she actually LIKES it.... it's amazing!!

*sits down happily and sighs* So yeah! That's my exciting news! Now i just have to focus on not getting into a fight with her. And I have to buy her a card, heheh.

Well, gonna go! *big big big happy hugs*
Wish me luck!

love me

ps. the overlocker was nice today! yay!

Signed off... 6:37p.m.

Sunday, September 7, 2003 02:33 p.m.

I listened to... Matchbox Twenty:3am~ Avril Lavigne:I'm With You in that order.

she got a little bit of something
god, its better than nothing...

and her voice is strange and she says 'baby'... *sigh* I love that song. I bags it for all of eternity. hehe.. ^_^;;

National Blonde Day?! What is the world coming to?? That and Tequila Sunrise lipglosses... *shakes her head* Strange people.

Anyway, good morning! I just went for a walk in Jerrabomberra, it was quite nice. Besides the fact that I felt like everyone was staring at me and had a quite indept conversation with myself about 'in my mind' and 'in reality'. o.O;;

Michi seems to be babbling on about National Bum Fluff Day, tis rather amusing... strange child ^-^.
Anyway, for the second time... how are you? I'm quite good thanks. Friday was a very all over the place day, I must say. Confrontational little talks at Recess, a piece-of-gum-a-consultations, notes, kicking of doors, cat and mouse staring contests... the list goes on and on ^__^;;

I sent her an email, but I don't reckon she'll get it til I tell her to check. Which is a bit of a bitch... because I need her to see it before Monday. God... what am I going to do on Monday...
I've no idea how this is going to work, and since I have ever so much faith in her it'll probably happen how I predict. Which means I should just stop caring and shrug.

damn her. *sigh*.

Work was an absolute BITCH yesterday, i mean.. complete hell. Adam called in sick, and I think this was why it was so crap...

*Giggles* I heard that song today, and it was hilarious. I was just like "OOH!" and sat there singing to it.
I got dresses yesterday! That was nice... this summer is going to be a very dress-y summer. I already have 4, and they're all black!! *sweatdrop* Not that i'm complaining..

Well, I think that's all I have to say... um.. bye!!

Signed off... 2:47p.m

Wednesday, September 3, 2003 05:50 p.m.

Hey

Kate: You'll have to excuse me, at the start I sounded like I was practically writing to you, but I ended up not talking about you what so ever and talking to the journal. Actually, everything from when I said you wanted an update turned to the journal. So the 'apology' thing wasn't directed at you.. hehe, sorry for the confusion if i caused any.

So what happened today... not much. School was pretty boring, Georgia was a bit cold with me again.. but whatcha gonna do?

Livejournal Mood Ring

baby_bitch is emotionally distant.

I bet no one's surprised that you never post your current mood. In fact, I bet most of your friends are so sick of you locking them out of your life that they hate you behind your back. Shame.

brought to you by . wanna know your livejournal's mood ring color? enter your username and hit the button.

That's kind of funny, since I hardly ever put anything in that one. lol.

Anyway, where was I... English I spent most of talking to Chrissy & trying to do my essay (yeah yeah, im gonna start it..)
Math was boring as.. I need a calculator. (calclator..)
Recess was... well, i can't remember. Probably boring since I can't remember, lol.
Japanese was bareable. But only just!! Everytime we went up Robin & I were like "what colour flowers do youw ant at your funeral?" "good luck!" lol. I got 30/30 for some test, 10/10 for some other one... so hopefully my grade'll be okay.
I sat there and for the whole time talked to Robin about the questions I was doind, and had a conversation to Ms Brennan over what "I have never studied German" was... but Robin & I had a nice conversation over what subjects we studied, lol.
Fashion was okay. I got into my dress and yes! MY BOOBS ARE ROUND!! Hhehehe, YAY! Sal walked out at somepoint and we held eye contact again.. -_- (i can't work out how to do a blank face).
Lunch was bad, i suppose. Kate & Harold & Georgia & what not sat away from us and went on about how our whole group were sheep.. *rolls eyes* and I lay on hte grass listening to my discman and chatting with Anna, Alex & Janet. So that was alright. Also had a chat with Rach & Alessandro.

What else.. Fashion 2 was good, got quite a lot done, i'm so proud of my dress!! ^__^
And Dance was.. well,w e're lasty! Yay! The technical rehearsal is next Friday, which means I miss out on work, yay! It's only a few weeks until the performance and we have to cut out one minute.. but we get to spend hte whole day, from 9:30 am - 11pm in Civic, so that's cool.

I remember what it was like last year.... sitting at lunch with Kim & Anne, playing with 'tapin' and drawing with chalk... couldn't wait for the performance.. going there, seeing the girls, being all proud, chasing sally around with a camera so I could get a photo of her in make-up... seeing Kim there.. everything..
*small smile* anyway..

Kim & I have been skipping school and stuff, well.. yesterday Ashleigh, me & her walked out of science & the teacher didnt notice. On Monday we went to the park (just Kim & I) and went on the play equipment and stuff... and yeah..

I have no money. Oh well. I need new underwear though. And more summer stuff. Even though I look shit in my new skirt, and I can't work out how to do my toe rings..

What else... this enough of an update Kate? lol. I know, it's boring as all hell. What else...

Nothing is particularly wrong lately, I suppose. *shrugs* Besides the not being this enough adn not being that enough, and i'm not even going to bother typing them because I know when Kate reads this she'll just roll her eyes and possibly hit my over the head and bitch about it.. so I won't. And the whole bursting into tears everytime I'm in dance thing. That sucks.
Alessandro and I are better. I don't think that's a good thing, so I should really stop it, but I kind of missed it.

*sighs* I'm going, this is getting me no where, I'm just sad.

love me..

[Edit]

Rebel Angel

What Angel Are You? (Non-Element) WITH PICTURES
brought to you by Quizilla

That's what Chrisy got too.

How odd, i got two of the same song in a 'what song are you' quiz, and two of the same answers as chrissy.

Darkness - Disturbed You hate life and everything in it. You love rock n
roll, and rebel against authority. All you want
to do is live a free life on your own.

What Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You know the whole Fallen CD by heart. Go you!

Do you know Evanescence lyrics? (from Fallen)
brought to you by Quizilla

*small curtsey* thank you ^-^

If you were Sugarcult song lyrics, you'd be Sad
ones! Jaded much? Poor Tim. He sounds so alone
when he sings you. Maybe you should go hug a
tree. Trees are pretty friendly. And they like
the world so much that they usually stick
around for a couple hundred years, until some
stupid humans go and cut them down...oh,
wait...that's why you're sad, huh? Bummer.
Yeah, the world is a hard, tree-cutting place,
but where else are you gonna live? I'm sure
there's someone out there just like you who
could give you some meaningful advice. Don't do
anything desperate, and always remember: the
truth may hurt, but would you really want to
live in a phony world of lies?

What Type Of Sugarcult Song Lyrics Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

*blinks*

You are secretive and timid!

Which lyrics best fits your personality? (UPDATED)
brought to you by Quizilla

my mouth hurts.. and i have to go and do my essay. yes. essay. *toddles off*

Signed off... 6:07p.m

Tuesday, September 2, 2003 09:58 p.m.

Instant Bishounen! by mizery
Your username
Your eye colour
Hair colour and length	orange, short and tousled
Place of residence	Osaka
Sexual orientation	bisexual
Special Quirk	dislikes excessive body hair
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

..oddly true, in a way, lol.

Your Descendants in the Year 3000 by silentounce
Name
Birthday
Name of First Born Child
Fate of Your Offspring	Slept through math class and banished to second moon of Mars
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*sweatdrops* sounds like Cameron, I wonder what Colette'll get... lets see:

Your Descendants in the Year 3000 by silentounce
Name
Birthday
Name of First Born Child
Fate of Your Offspring	Creates clone army in own image, conquers galaxy
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*wipes tear away and looks proud* that's my girl! *sniff*

Livejournal Mood Ring

unitedwefall is blah.

I've met prosthetic legs with more get-up-and-go than you. Could you be less melancholy and go out and do something?

brought to you by . wanna know your livejournal's mood ring color? enter your username and hit the button.

*journal goes and sulks*

Stupid Laws, Whinging Kitties, Really Thin People
Circle I Limbo

Older Men Who Insist On Talking To Me, Essays, Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Annoying Ditzy People Who Piss The FUCK Out Of Me, Pre-Teens, Bitchy Back Conditions
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Religious People, Year 9's
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Mothers
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

People You Love, Perfect People
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

History Teachers
Circle VII Burning Sands

Siblings - By Blood or Otherwise, Japanese Teachers
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

People Who Think They're SO Much Better, Depression
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

*crosses fingers* that should look REALLY cool...

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

How cool is that!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2003 09:33 p.m.

I listened to... Lisa Loeb:Do You Sleep.

Hey,
Well you wanted an update Kate...

I was just about to say "nothing much has happened" but just realised that was a rather stupid thing to say. I don't quite know what to say though. Or if I want to. I never have felt quite comfortable in writing stuff down in it.

Lemme put it this way though, I now do 8 classes of textiles. Which is so much fun, i love it. What else.. Amelia probably thinks I'm paranoid and crazy, but that's okay because I am.

It's not my fault I feel things that probably aren't happening. But I feel her watching, I do. And I have to prove to her I don't need her.

I don't need her.

I don't know what I'm meant to write, all I know is that I'm going to have to give everything a break, I'm making myself too visible again, and it's annoying people.

Later.

[edit] don't you dare apologise to me.

Signed off... 9:37p.m

Monday, September 1, 2003 06:50 p.m.

Ichi - "That one with wisdom" Sponsored by www.life-blood.cjb.net

What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

o_o;;;

You're Exotic Dancer Barbie. You have some moves,
and will do anything for a few bucks. Take it
off girl, but keep it PG-13 please.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahahahahahahahhahaha

Uh-oh - you are "Stop blowing holes in my
ship!" You're a little bit edgy,
honestly, and it's getting in the way of your
natural charm. We understand that life can be
hard, but take a deep breath and have a drink.
Relax.

Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

lol.

you are the "I hate you so bad" happy
bunny. You hate everyone and eveything and your
not ashamed of it.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hhahaha, cutesie!!

Nihilist Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

*gasps* no!! even the fluffy kittens?!?!

You're A Fan Service! Your only real purpose is to amuse the perverts.
You always seem to fall with your butt in the
air, and everyone always knows what colour your
panties are.

What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

as long as they're pretty panties i don't care! lol

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

WIND is your chinese symbol!

What Chinese Symbol Are You? -- Updated (7/21/03)
brought to you by Quizilla

*trips over* ..graceful, yup, totally.

Neutral: Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.
Made by
Sara

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

hm.. nice. Well, i just got this weird Veet mousse stuff, so i might go and do my legs!!
*sweatdrops* I know, i'm weird.

- love me

Monday, August 25, 2003 09:47 p.m.

No Music

What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Your LJ username
Your real name
Your sex
Your age
Your last words will be...	"FUCK YOU!"
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*giggles*

*sigh* Sal was going to come over to watch the ring but.. well, change of plans. she's still coming over. but, the ring isnt happening.
so i'm organising for hannah to come nad watch it sometime ^_^

..yeah, composing myself for what im going to say tomorrow. wish me luck and that it'll all work out...

-love me

Signed off... 10:03pm

Monday, August 18, 2003 09:39 p.m.

You're: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

The kitten is being an annoying yowly thing... and acting weird...

You're a CASUAL AIM-ER! Congrats, you're
normal...or you're pretending to be.

What kind of AIM-er are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
hahahah, that's hilarious!! how freakin' cool!

Tomboy

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
*Sniff* no! i won't call you! *runs away and bursts into tears*

... *peeks round corner and giggles* hiya!

Your Heart is Blue

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
*looks unconvinced* if you say so..

You are Loss. Your life defines tragedy. You have experienced
great hardships on an unimaginable scale and it
has jaded your view of life.

What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
*dryly* sounds about right..

The Lost Soul

What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
..the final sign..? pisces is hte final sign of the normal zodiac too.. wow..

Shiny and Pink!

What kind of dildo are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
*giggles*

Perfect, Simple Plan.

Whats Your Suicide Ballad?
brought to you by Quizilla
mmm

The Tradegy...

Whats your story?
brought to you by Quizilla
...my hero is gone...

...think the internet went and fucked itself. later.

Signed off... 10:27 p.m.

Sunday, August 17, 2003 09:11 p.m.

"Once forgotten, twice removed. Love could be the death of you"

To you its not about how happy you can be, but about how right or strong you can appear to be to other people. You don't like to show emotion cause you think it equals weakness. Basically you are as screwed up as I am.

...how screwed up is that then?

"Let me be the one you call. If you jump I will break your fall"

You are a tortured soul, sad and lost in a world which is truly cruel and loveless in your eyes. Hang in there, there are blessed moments of silence and comfort that can come around, let yourself be loved and never forget to keep loving.

i don't wish to say anything. if anyone knows anything about actually me they'll know my stance on this song and therefore its reaction.

I am 20% Goth

I wanna be a GOTH. But I'm not. Smoking cloves and too much eyeliner a goth does not make. I'll go home and take your Cure CD's with me.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com

*giggles* but i dun wanna be a goth!

I am 46% Evil

With a style rating of 48%

This score reflects a pathetic level of evil without any real style at all

Test created by Jamie - take it here.

..oh, um.. good? ^^;;

your eyes show unhappiness

which eye are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

the eyes in the pic are pretty though..

Which Rock Chick Are You?

heheh, awesome.

this is my way to live
What about yours? made by rav-chan

er.. okay?

ciao!

Signed off... 9:39pm

Friday, August 15, 2003 10:19 p.m.

i listened to... Millencolin:Penguins & Polarbears~ ..in that order.

You're on the top when i am low. As soon as you're fading I will grow. I don't like you. You don't like me. We're lacking energy, yeah, we're lacking energy.

haha, i love that. It was so cool today, Kiri, Janet & Lauren were all singing it today.

Morning! How are we? I'm okay thanks ^_^

Lunch was really cool today, we were lounging about and being cats in the sun, all basking. And I was lying on the grass and I looked at janets shoelaces, and htey said "millencolin' and i remembered B telling me about htem. Or more like ordering me to go listen to them. And I asked her about them and said that i really liked one which had the wordpenguins in it, and Kiri said 'Penguins & Polarbears?" "Probably." and they all started singing! Ashleigh too, i think. It was so cool. I was just sitting there grinning. It was so cool.. a very good moment.

Stuff is definately better with Kiri around. Maybe it's because me & Kiri actually get on so I'm more.. in the gorund, more involved. Maybe it's cos i'm not with Sally anymore. Maybe it was because Sally and I weren't talking today. I don't know.

So yeah, after the end to last nights conversation Sal wasn't talking to me today. She ignored me and everything, and Georgia got a bit pissed off with me too i'm pretty sure. Then again, that's georgia and me. In dance fest she was pissing me off. It's not my fault i'm not a prima ballerina and born in fucking dance shoes..
Anyway, I've been practising my fucking arms. I have to remember to look around when Teeghan & Georgia run off. I need to remember to have my arms straight. I need to remember to act. I need to remember another thousand things. Sometiems I wonder why I signed up for this..

So Sally was most definately ignoring me. I got to.. what's it called.. Woodwork and she was so working, so I walked in and said hi, and she sort of grunted, so I said was still angry with me and she grunted again, and so I tol dher that I wrote it 7 months ago and she said "thanks for telling me" and I tried toe xplain i had shown it to her. So she got all pissed off and I rolled mye yes and stood about. Wrote lyrics into the dust, and hten decided to go and sit and write more lyrics.
So while I was sitting Mr Driver came in and I talked to him about Chemistry, anyway.. I was sitting there doing Chemistry and I heard a saw go off. I thought it was hte router, so I stood up, put my discman into my jumper so i could still listen and leant against the doorframe.
So i was leaning against the doorframe and she turned around and saw me, held up the sander and grinned, revved it, and motioned for me to come over.
So I walked over and she got me to have a go or something..

She went "You know I can't stay mad at you for long"

Well yeah, I know that. You never have been able to.

Oh well... so now she's not angry with me and yeah.. went to Civic today, bounced about with Peta, had a lot of fun there.
We did a swap of food, I ordered a foldover she orded a berrynice, then i ordered the berrynice and she the foldover, then we went and did the big mac chant together, jenna gave us drinks, and we said we'd go get fries later.
So off we bounced to look for formal dresses and shoes adn stuff. We were about ot go look for bathing costumes but my dad called so we had to go. Ah well, next friday probably, ehhehehe. I just gotta remember to bring my voucher so i can buy a bikini!

I had a terrible terrible nightmare of a dream last night. I hope so much I don't have another, because it's just not fair. Fuck it all to hell.

Muffin now has a habit of stirring up the past for me. I keep walking into my room and all my photos of sally are scattered all over the floor.
So I have to pick them all up, which involves looking at them.

..stupid cat...

I think i'll go drink some creamy milk and eat some doughnuts and watch tv. I have work tomorrow, breakfast with hannah & peta! yay!

Lata,

-- love me --

Signed off... 10:34 p.m.

Thursday, August 14, 2003 09:34 p.m.

You represent... angst. You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

oh it's so pretty..

Signed off... 9:35

Thursday, August 14, 2003 05:20 p.m.

i listened to... Taxiride:How I Got This Way~ Sugarcult:Bouncing Off The Walls~ Groove Armada:I See You Baby (hee hee, cool song!! DANCE!!)~ Wendy Matthews:The Day You Went Away~ Jason Timberlake:Cry Me A River~ Eminem:Without Me~ me singing Aerosmith's I Don't Want To Miss A Thing~ Kylie Minogue:Can't Get You Out Of My Head~ Crazytown:Drowning~ Jill Sobule:I Kissed A Girl~ Ben Lee:Cigarettes Will Kill You~ Mandy Moore:In My Pocket~ Sozzi:Letting Go~ Saliva:Always~ Sum41:Still Waiting~ Kylie Minogue:Fever~ ..in that order.

Ciao, how are we?
I think i'm okay. I mean, i'm bored out of my mind, but I think i'm fine. I really can't remember!
I think i'm going to do a bit of a quiz workout, but that's cool, right?

I just tried to update my REAL diary, but couldn't think of anything to write! Plus, i don't feel like writing, i feel like typing. Hence me being here.
Journals are so strange.. i mean, this is exactly like my real one, but people can rea---

*sighs*

Sweep it under the rug
Hurt the ones that you love
I can't remember when or where...

Sit alone with the one
Who shines a light on the sun
A darker day now..

I've lost my way.
..You think i've changed but I'm the same.

If it really matters i'll do anything you ask me
Doesn't mean I'm never gonna fall
Wrap your arms around me
Cos there is no need to disagree
Set your mind of better days
I dont know how i got this way...

Breaking all of the rules.
Act like some kind of fool.
[I'm on my own and you
Will never understand]
You built walls around me!

If it really matters i'll do anything you ask me
Doesn't mean i'm never gonna fall
Wrap your arms around me
Cos there is no need to disagree
Set your mind on better days
I don't know how i got this way...

Enough about me.

..I changed the rules..

Suck in the heartlies
Lay down your guard
Some summer days
Dripping with praise i close my eyes..

If it really matters i'll do anything you ask me
Doesn't mean i'm never gonna fall

Wrap your arms around me cos there is no need to disagree
Set your mind of better days
I dont know how i got this way

Set your mind on better days
I dont know hwo i got this way..

I got this way..
(Hurt the ones that you love..)

Hurt the ones that you love..

Sorry, don't mind me. What was I saying..? Meh. Who cares!

hehehe.. i love this song "i see you baby shaking that arse, shaking that arse..." *chibi leanne dances crazily*

Speaking of arses!
We got to model the dance fest costumes today! Gah, i LURV that skrit. So short! So black! So cute! *giggles* Though Georgia said something about me having to wear foundation... er..?

Anyway, me, Amelia & Georgia tried them on, and they look cool, and me amelia & emma walked around in them and stuff, and I looked like a hooker or like i was wearing no clothes i swear, Amelia just looked like a tennis player, lol!

What else..

Hey, there's not a cloud in the sky
It's as blue as your goodbye
And i thought that it would rain on a day like today

Hey, there's not a cloud in sight
It's as blue as your blue goodbye
And i thought that it would rain
The day you went away...

Gosh, don't mind me! Quizzes & lyrics today, huh!! ^_^
I had a nice chat with Viv today, which is good, i dont get to talk to her enough lately... and i had a nice chat with Amelia & Alex too, so that was nice...

Whoa, the damage is done so I guess I'll be leaving...

Hm. What to say.. We got our dance fest costumes today! Wait. i already said that. *sigh* What else? There has to be SOMETHING....
Oh! I saw Chris' boyfriends car today... he's apprently really ugly but is loaded. Sounds like a reason to stay with him if you ask me. No, i'm serious, it does. LoL.
Okay, quizzes. I'm bored. And hungry. Hm.

Nightmare Before Christmas!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Ooh.. that's um.. okay, i'm going to stop there before I say something.

Everything is so complex
Everyday is like a test
Full of obstacles
That seem at most impossible

(And i'm thinking
Just another breath
Not a minute left
How long have I been drifting?)

Pass the glass pipe
Hit the flash light
Now break it
People think I'm a star
But I stil think I'll never make

(And I'm thinking
Just another prayer
Not a second left
I feel there's something missing)

Smetimes I hate that chaos surrounds me
When all the answers that I see go around me

Am i drowning?
Am i fading away?
Or am i living up to all your dreams that made me this way?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?
Am I drowning?

I've been to hell and back looking for the answers to life
Looking at myself trying to get things right

(And I'm feeling
Just another breath
Not a minute left
I feel the darkness lifting)

There was a time when I questioned if I'd ever be alright
Running,
Getting high,
Staying trapped by sleepless nights

(And I'm thinking
Just another breath
Not a minute left
I feel there's something missing)

I'm running from myself and all the things I don't like
Living every night like it's the last night

(And I'm thinking
Just another breath
Not a second left
I need to stop resisting)

Sometimes I hate that chaos surrounds me
When all the answers that I see go around me
Am i drowning?
Am i fading away?
Or am i living up to all your dreams that made me this way?
Am i drowning?
Am i drowning?
Am i drowning?
Am i drowning?

Drowning in the drama
Lost in the lies
Trapped by the current of life
Caught in the riptide

Drowning in the drama
Lost in the lies
Trapped by the current of life
Caught in the riptide

Drowning in the drama
Lost in the lies
Trapped by the current of life
Caught in the riptide

Drowning in the drama
Lost in the lies
Trapped by the current of life
Caught in the riptide

Am I drowning?
Am I drwoning?
Am i drowning?
Am I drowning?

Sometimes I hate that chaos surrounds me
When all the answers that I see go around me
Am I drowning?
Am I fading away?
Or am I living up to all your dreams that made me this way?
Am I drowning?

Drowning in the drama
Lost in the lies
Trapped by the current of life
Caught in the riptide

Am I drowning?

Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
the story of my life..

oh i love this song..
So we laughed
Compared notes
We had a drink
We had a smoke
...And she took off her overcoat.
I kissed a girl.

You should be dating a Sagittarius. 22 November - 21 December Your mate is frank and open, optimistic and honest.
Though the Archer can display bouts of
argumentative, impatient and critical
behaviour, he or she is extremely adventurous
in bed.

What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

..... that's, um.. interesting. hm.

it must feel good to stand above me
while i make you so proud of me
it must feel good that i'm now gone
i wish i could say that everyone was wrong..

*giggles again* Adventurous in bed you say..? lol!!!
aww.. sad song.. *sniff*
I lurrrv the song Fever though..

ANYWAY. I am GOING! RIGHT NOW!
*laughs* bye all

Signed off... 07:13 p.m.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003 05:20 p.m.

i listened to... nothing so far ..in that order.

Morning, isn't life dainty?

Sorry.. just felt like saying that. I'm in a sort of low mood, don't know why. Just am. I seem to be wearing Sal's top & have her coat next to me, that could have something to do with it. It could also be because Julia wasn't on the bus therefore i was in a shit mood and looked bitchy. It could also be because my hair is being idiotic. Could also be because I'm really tired yet don't sleep any earlier.
When i think about it, it could be a number of things.

So i'm thinking of giving mich the new link to this... but I think i'll have to read what's in here first. God it sucks.. i can't work anything out in html..

Did some odd quiz.. here:

You are whipcunt!You are sassy and careless.Most
people think you're a bitch but obviously you
don't give a shit what other people think of
you.You're certainly not afraid to kick some
ass..A true bad ass..Good for you!

Which Gothic Powerpuff Girl Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Cute.
Here's a few more...

Okay, maybe not. What to say.. oh, i got my belly pierced.
I'm not sure why.. actually. I think it was because Sally mentioned it and I realised how much I wanted something pierced again and since mum said she would most definately kick me out of home if i got a labret... that was next best thing.
It's actually hurts a hell of a lot. But not as much as my cartillege one. I think i spelt that wrong, ah well.
Only thing is.. Because I've got this RING (its super cool, silver with dark red gem) sticking through it (which isn't straight by the way..) it hurts. So i found that rubbing the skin around it makes it feel better. But because of hte ring, I haven't got my tummy all sucked it and thinking muscles nad good girl-ish. So I have my stomach out, with one hand rubbing my tummy and hte other supporting my back.
I LOOK PREGNANT.

And damn, don't I wish I could be without having hte kid and all that shit. I want a bump. I want a girlfriend with a bump. The bump is sexy. Anyway..

Argh, i smell of sally and this sucks. Get my out of this top. NOWWWWW. *sits there still in it* sigh.

Well I asked Kate out, then had a panic attack. I was screaming my head off at Chrissy (sorry bout that..) and the next day I just Freaked. Out.
It was pretty bad.. I felt so stupid too. And I couldnt' work out anything.
Okay, what's one thing you'd think i'd have learnt from shish?

NEVER ACT ON FUCKING IMPULSE!

*sighs*
So I keep switching between liking her nad not liking her and all sorts of stuff. I feel like a fucking strobe light.

And I can't work anything out between us either. She said no due to Chrissy. She told Chrissy. I have no idea what's happening with that now, but Chrissy is straight. ..Right?
We said something about reassessing the situation in a month.. so i don't know. When's a month..? *sigh*
I need a mind wipe or a distraction. Sometimes I wish I coudl just pass out. It'd be so nice.. lol.

..that was random. Nonno rings up and says they're in surfers paradise and say hi to everyone. It's like.. "um, okay.."

I should really say hi to Chrissy, she wasn't at school today. Hope she's alright and not too hideously sick or anything.

Blahhh.. i check this and update like.. once in a full moon. I really need to do my other journal more often too. Argh, oh well.

So what was I saying? Oh yeah, Kate freaked me out today because I was at my locker and these arms snake around my waist and no ones done that for a lonnnnnng time and it was like "gahhhh" until i heard her go "'ello!" and yeah, hehe....

I don't know what to say. Hm. I'll twiddle my fingers for a bit, k?
*twiddles fingers*

Okay, remember some stuff that happened.
Dance fest. I am so tired of dancing. Wood work. Meh.. we're making Ali a cupboard. yay. English. Good, doing independent study, which is fun, novel study = evil. Math. Biggest waste of time! Fashion & Desgin. Good relaxing fun! Provided the sewing maching doesn't blow up at you. What else... Jap. Meh. IT's Jap. I had an award for it but I put it in my baga nd forgot and now it's a crumpled ripped bit of paper. hehe....

Went to Civic on Friday, which was good, up to the point Rachel turned up. I've said it once I'll say it again. Me and Rachle just DO NOT get on in person!! For like.. 2 mins, MAYBE! But anymore..? HELL NO!! You're asking for drama and temper tantrums.
So she turned up and we fucked about in civic before getting on a bus and going to her house where she fucked around there, looked at me like i was a moron when i asked if she'd checked her bags, and then OH! WHOOPS! Look where my ID is... IN MY FUCKING BAG. So then we get dropped over to woden, MISS the movie by like..1 /2 an hour, i go to get tickets, they dont give me their id's, i run around tryin to find htem, see Carla, walk out of the foyer trying ot find them, turn right, see HEATHER smoking a cigarette andlooking pissed off, turn aruond and practically RUN inside to get away, run about, runinto kiri & ashleigh and go "HELP ME I'M PANICKING". THENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Chrissy & Rachel come strolllllling along, they.. do god knows what, I dont feel like going ot hte movie cos i want to hang aorund iwth kiri & ashleigh, chrissy gives me her bag, we dont go to the movie and i ahve to exchange my ticket, then we finally go to move off and Chrissy & Rachel disappear!
For the record...

I DID NOT HEAR YOU SAY YOU WERE GOING TO GLORIA JEANS SO FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE

so then theyd isappear and i STILL HAVE CHRISSYS FUCKING BAG.

Okay, look, I udnerstand you're pissed off Rachel, and that you had to run around looking for me, and not everything went your sweet little way, but MY DAY WASNT MUCH FUN EITHER. And you know what?? Go on, take a guess.

IF CHRISSY HAD REALLY WANTED HER FUCKING BAG SHE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT BACK BEFORE YOU ALL DISAPPEARED.

YES RACHEL, i am a moron. YES RACHEL, i have no common sense. YES CHRISSY, i am a sheep. SORRY I'M NOT AS PERFECT AS YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY PERFECT SELVES!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*breathes calmly* anyway...

Exhibitionist

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

or

Masochist

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

So what was I saying? Oh i don't know. Screw it all.

Lots of sarcastic love.. me.

Ps.

Signed off... 05:58 p.m.

Saturday, August 2, 2003 12:35 a.m.

hehehe, thank you ^_^

Friday, August 1, 2003 10:26 p.m.

i listened to... Lisa Loeb:Furious Rose~ Alanis Morisette:Hands Clean~ ..in that order.

Hey, what's up? I just got the internet back, and I've been bored out of my mind for a few days. Though I have been going to bed earlier.. that's something I suppose.

I just found out sally's proposing to heather. I don't quite know what to think. What I do know is that I'm truly screwed now. Not because I want to jump sally and get her in the shower or anything (sure, i probably wouldn't object if it happened, but thats not the point), but because I've really lost heather now. If the only way Heather and I can be friends is when sally isn't in the equation... i'll never get heather again.

They're getting engaged.

Does that mean I'm going to have a sister-in-law? That means I dated my sister-in-law.. hm. Also means I fucked my sister-in-law. Also means I never really had a sister-in-law due to the fact thatI'm not actually related to my sister. Do you think she still thinks of me as her sister? even if it is just one she hates? or not. probably not. but i dont know. theres a slim chance, i suppose.

Anyway, that got me thinking, so now i'm in the HowToKill email and looking at important emails. I just found this.

Living without Heather goes unsaid. I’m basically fine, but when you get down to it I’m really struggling. Something small will make my lip tremble and my eyes water. Whether it is a picture of her or an argument I had with mum. I’ll be left with a burning feeling that I need one of her magic hugs, that I need her back in my life to make everything better.

And that's true. That's so unbelievably true. That's what happened today... I couldn't help thinking that if Heather was here it would all have been okay. Because heather makes everything okay. I wonder if she knows how much power she holds over me..?

Because she, as corny as it sounds, is the air I breathe. And I love her more than anyone will ever realise.

Planets spin around your head

Milk and sugar in my bed

Even when you're far away

I can hear you every day

I had that stuck in my head today... well, in wood works. Funny I used it where I did... I should go look up those lyrics. All the lyrics to that are good.

...wait.

sally isn't proposing on August 2nd. She can't be.

..that's when it all fucked up. Tomorrow is the day everything died.

I dont want to be alive. I don't want to be alive if I can't have her.

I don't...

Monday, July 21, 2003 06:21 p.m.

i listened to... thatband..:Clocks~ Bon Jovi:It's My Life ..in that order.

*sighs* damn HTML and not being able to use it. I look at kates and go "ughhh, i want to be able to do that!!! And yet I can't. I can't even get the fucking DATE on here..

oh well. Hey, guess what, I got my mole removed. SCORE!! ehehe.. i have stitches! Very cool, but the patch is kind of bloody. Looks awesome though, i cant wait 'til I can take it off. The annoying thing is that I can't do dance for a week, and I have two hours tomorrow. Shit, huh. Georgia will nottttttt be pleeeeeeeeased... I predict a lot of groveling, lol.

Well, got my classes. My electives are fashion & design (im going to blow up the textiles room), dance (yay!) and woodwork. I know.. woodwork.. but it's with Sally, and we're the only two girls. I have no idea what my class is like, as I haven't been there yet. Scary shit. lol.

What else... I'm about to download.. to download... wait, what's it called..? I keep forgetting.. Days Before You Came, that's it. Good lyrics, thats the "join the masquerade" one.

Heh, i have to be really careful how I move and I can't bend, because I don't want disturb it or stretch it or anything. And yeah...

Well, i think that's it.... we're doing To Kill A Mockingbird in English.... and yeah...

What else.. not much. Kiri's back, Alex is back, everything is pretty.. normal... but oh well. Ciao!

..love me..

Signed off... 06:31 p.m.

Saturday, July 12, 2003 06:38 p.m.

i listened to... Snoop Dogg(?):Beautiful~ J-Lo:I'm Glad~ Matchbox Twenty:Unwell ..in that order.

Hello!
Sorry I haven't talked for so lomg!! Heh heh.. bad habit of forgetting and not being bothered *sweatdrop*

Looksie! I did a quiz! (I've done it loads before, but it was on Michi's blog).

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Very High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Cool, huh. Here's what the Very High's are:

Borderline
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.

Quite me, ne? Well, some of it, at least.

Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

Heh.. very me as well... *sigh*.
What else, lemme just check the others, see if any of them apply, or any sentences..
Narcissistic- They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships.

and
Dependent- Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. / They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.

Yeah... that's about it.

What else has been up? Oh, Margaret told me a few interesting things about myself... I talked to someone on the phone... oh yeah..

I GOT A KITTEN!

*sweatdrop* yeah...

I think i'll go, k? Later!!

Signed off... 06:53 p.m.

Saturday, June 28, 2003 06:35 p.m.

i listened to... Megumi Hayashibara:Nostalgic Lover~ Megumi Hayashibara:Midnight Blue~ Megumi Hayashibara:Cruel Angel's Thesis~ Ayumi Hamasaki:Seasons~ Ayumi Hamasaki:Boys & Girls ..in that order.

Morning all!!
Yes, I know, it's been a long long time..... but i'm working on that.

Look what i found!

Happy Deathday!
Your name:	unitedwefall
You will die on:	Monday, February 14, 2033
You will die of:	Shark Attack
Username:
Created by Quill

*hopes she got the formatting right*

Michi & Chrissy had these nifty little question things.. so I'm going to go do one. Here are Chrissy's questions for me, Kate's will hopefully be later:

1. when did you first realise that you were a lesbian?
*giggles* why do people always ask that..? Well... I sort of only figured it out at the end of last year... and that was after I'd realised that out of the 5 people i'd liked in my highschool education, 3 of them had been female. *sweatdrop* it was kind of embarassing to realise, actually. Im so pathetic *laughs*. But who knows, might change my preferance later, i do kind of doubt it though. But the first girl I liked was Year 8.

2. what kind of a career do you want for yourself?
I'm not sure... I'm thinking Psychologist, because hey.. if i can fuck peoples lives up, why not make a living out of it. Nah, that's not true. I'm really fascinated in mental illnesses and stuff. I'd love to do psychiatry, but i dont think i have the grades. Other than that... something in radio. I talk enough, lol.

3. who do you really really hate?
I'm sure the answers people would expect me to put down aren't the ones I will. I'd say my mother, but i can't actually hate her. Just intense dislike. I'd say myself, but that's not true either. Though at times...
I don't think I really hate anyone. I can go through spurts of anger, really quickly, and I think that's waht it is. I hate people who oppress me, people who are perfect, people who treat me like im a 3 year old... but everyone can fit into that at one point or another.. so... i'll go with no one.

4. whats you favorite pair of underwear?
Oh come on! That's like asking someone which out of their children is their favourite! (and in my mothers case, the answer would be my brother...) I'd have to say, my favourite pair are probably... my army patterend briefs. But in close competition are a couple of my g's, this "love me.." cami i have, my "*five year old voice*pretty bra!" .. and my black frilly panties, along with my pink mickey mouse briefs. hehe, shut up...

5. what position do you sleep in? [random, i know...]
Very random. Um... it used to be on my back, with my hands above my head, crossed over at the wrists, holding onto my bed. But ever since a certain night, i havent' slept like that.. lol. Now it's probably, on my stomach with my head resting on my arms, head facing the side.

Five simple rules to this "fun little game"
Step 1: Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
Step 2: I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
Step 3: You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
Step 4: You'll include this explanation.
Step 5: You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

Thank you Chrissy darling!! That was fun!! *giggles*

Well, i think that's it for the moment. Not much I can be bothered typing up. Sally's new nickname is Bunny, we just finished business week, the Renn thing cleared up, thank god, heather and i are still not talking, arts tour in 3 days, heather "comes back" tomorrow, i won tickets to Charlies Angels 2, I'm going with Sally.

Life is plain trippy.

Lata, love leanne.

...1 month, 4 days, and counting...

Signed off... 06:53 p.m.

Saturday, June 21, 2003 09:11 p.m.

i listened to... No Doubt:Ex-Girlfriend~ The Whitlams:Royal In The Afternoon~ Blink182:What's My Age Again?~ Joan Armatrading:The Weakness In Me~ ..in that order.

Hey, how are we?
I'm okay. Kind of bored, kind of sad, no... not sad. Just... thoughtful.

I stupidly forgot to put Usa, Usako, Usagi and all that in this survey, so i hurt kate by that. I also hurt her by not putting her as one of the people I trust.

But how could I say to her "but i do trust you" when I wasn't sure that i did? So i didnt.
I dont know, it's like with georgia... i trust her up to an extent. I used to.. but now....

Chrissy stayed over last night.. that was good. And... yeah. We watched, um, Van Wilder Party Liason, and The Skulls. This morning we went to Civic and had breakfast.

*sighs* Everytime i walk into my room I see Heather's smiling photo and... I sigh. I don't sigh sadly, I don't sigh in annoyance, I sigh like... like i'm saying to myself "one day.. one day."
That was what I put for my final answer on the survey...

why would you look down on me?
i never want to act my age..
whats my age again!
whats my age again?

sorry, couldn't help myself. It was on.
hmmm... yeah.

whoever do you think it is kate's in love with?

A part of me says Chrissy, because really, that's all I can think of. I think i'll ask if I can take a guess.

*sighs* That's really all there is to do.. sigh.

Later, Leanne.

Thursday, June 19, 2003 06:05 p.m.

i listened to... Shanks & Bigfoot:Sweet Like Chocolate~ Nine Days:If I Am~ Mousse T:Horny~ Bjork:Violently Happy~ Selwyn:Rich Girl~ Usher:U Remind Me ~ pause ~ Ben Lee:Cigarettes Will Kill You~ Bardot:I Need Somebody ..in that order.

knowing you're there everyday
makes me high in my own special way
i am calm in the face of your love
holding you is a gift from above..

hehe, MORNING!
How are we?? I'm okay thanks! I just came back from Civic and shopping, so yeah.

Well, today started out pretty basic, I gave Kate the note... I wonder how she took it. It all seemed really really tense when I came back from Physio, and I thought Vel & Sal weren't talking to me... but they both are, and I threw a few smiles at Kate during Jap, because I realised that being tense wasn't really a good idea, that I was actually over it when I gave it to her and possibly shouldn't have (though I keep tossing that up with why shouldn't i tell her why i think) and that tomorrow, on the Jap. Uni. Student Day thingo, i'll be alone. Not cool..
Especially as I kept remembering us bouncing around last year at it...
I also remember giving Heather a note and all that, but never mind... lol.

I think i'm getting the hang of this HTML thing... though you can never be too confident or you'll fuck it up, hehe.

So after recess, which i spent with Chrissy, I went to... wait, Aerobics was watching Chorus Line (pretty cool, but corny and annoying sometimes) and Sciecne listening to discman (Linkin Park+ I found out i'm definately getting a C, fingers crossed for a B)
... Physio, and got my leave pass extended to 1 o'clock. Very nice.
Of course, my appointment only took half an hour this time, so I spent the last hour shopping. Was very nice adn relaxing, a good piece of "me" time. I bought Grandma a Elephant, ehehehe, it's so cute, and it was only 4.90!! And it's all gift wrapped pretty. I also bought Cosmo (trashy reading) and a.. a magnet.
*struggles with smiling* want to know what it said..?

..friends are the family we choose ourselves..

*sighs* I wasn't going to buy it, then at the last moment I grabbed it. I couldn't bear to leave without it.
It was exactly the same... exactly...
..so i bought it. and yeah. I lost it later, though. Damnit.

So after Physio I went back to school, sat there for five minuts of math, went with Viv to see Ms H (her 'emotional' support), and then sat with her on the oval and was paranoid and pretended to laugh over my magazine while we were really talking about Renn and people. She asked me something about my little curse, and I'm kind of confused by it. I don't know what she wants me to look for, or if I should try. I don't want to get so attatched that it gets me into trouble...

After lunch was Jap and the speech. Went okay.

... Sorry, I got side tracked by dinner, big bite, will & grace and.. yeah.

So after Jap was Hospitality, i thought we'd be doing nothing, wrong, we did an appraisal, that was okay.
So after school I was meant to go to Civic with Georgia cause she had to see some weird movie for science, but that ended up being cancelled. Talked to Sally briefly, asking if I should go to Civic with those guys (Celine, Peta, Kim) and she said she didn't know, I asked if her better half, er, eviller half, er, half, was going to turn up, and she said she really had no idea, and then she said i should go to civic, have fun. So i did. And that was cool.

Kim, Peta, Celine & I all put on English accents and as soon as we got out of hte bus we ran screaming down to the ATM, it was so... so strange. and very random. but fun.
So celine left for singing, and me and peta and kim went.. i dunno where, off.

We decided that our middle names sounded so much cooler with English accents than our normal names, so Peta was Chloe, Kim was Bianca, I was Bridget (cause i'm such a Bridget Jones. ick.) and Celine was Maegs. And yeah! That was funny, cause Kim & Peta (oh sorry, Bianca & Chloe) and I kept forgetting to change our accents back and saved ourselves just in time or not.

There's a new manager at Maccas, Nigel, who is a dick and apparently back. Yay (sarcasm).

What else... I WANT A KITTEN.
So i'm about to start looking for info on burmilla kittens. And.. yeah. ^_^

Burst into tears yesterday over heather, and ended up cutting out a photo of her and putting it in my wallet... it's the same one in my baby-locker, and yeah... *sighs*
I miss her, it's so pathetic, but god.. i do.

Gonna go, feeling pathetic. later.

Signed off... 08:44 p.m.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003 10:22 p.m.

i'm listening to... Matchbox 20:"i wanna push you around, well i will well i will, i wanna push you down, well i will well i will, i wanna take you for granted..." ~ RHCP:Can't Stop

Life fucking sucks. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it i hate it i HATE it.
Everyone was yelling at me because of the stupid Ainu assignment, butyou dont understand that i CANT do it!! Its not POSSIBLE. My brain doesn't WORK anymore!!

People just suck!!
Kate was being a total bitch. Completely. Stupid stupid cow. And I can't get the rant she said about me out of my head!!
Stupid stupid BITCH

Viv was talking about when I was angry, cos I said people where screaming at me, I said I was explosive, fucking hell leanne... what are you TRYING to do?! Convince everyone that!!

Fucking hell, jus take a BREATH, and WORK for ONCE in your STUPID LIFE!!

..kill me someone..

Signed off... 10:28 p.m.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003 05:01 p.m.

I listened to... Foo Fighters:?~ Eminem:Sing For The Moment~ RHCP:Universally Speaking~ Amiel:Love Song~ Ameican Hi-Fi:The Art of Losing

Hey hey, how are we?
I worked out how to get an 'enter key' thing on here... which i thought was clever.

Ooh, Viv just told me another thing about.. Renn and the whole eating thing... not cool. Apparently Sarah's mom knows, and Renn wasn't happy. Try.. VERY un-chuck-a-psycho-happy...

Ugh, i have a headache. I don't think you're going to get much out of me today, but i'll try.

We had our hospitality thing today... that was okay, went quite well, but I don't wish to repeat it! I only went to one class today though, because we had English Comp first.
Georgia and I are kind of back to normal, but that could have been cos we were all tired and stuff.
Heather turned up after school, again, but they went to Queanbo, which was good. I mean, atleast she wasn't near me, right?
ooh, cool song

how is it that we heed, that voice that says, i want you there...
and thanks you've been fuel for thought, now i'm more lonely than before! but thats okay, i've just ready made another stupid love song...

Um... yeah... I walked Ashleigh to the bus, helped her get on it, it's so funny... hehehehe

Talk later, bored. Must do that jap thing...

oh but I do love this song... (American Hi-Fi)

Anyhoo, bye!!

Love me.

Signed off... 05:01 p.m.

Tuesday, June 17, 2003 06:05 p.m.

Well, that'll teach me that it is always, and i repeat, ALWAYS easier to re-download something than get something new.

Hello everybody!! Welcome to my life.

*rolls her eyes* and isn't it fun...

Well, I basically was browsing around these places, and decided to get one. Due to the fact Mich was talking about it. I was curious. Tried to find hers. Yeah...

I have a dilemma. What do I call people in here? I think i'm going to have to go with other names... but maybe I won't. Atleast that way people wouldn't be able to tell who I was talking about. No, silly leanne, they would be able to tell. You're predictable like that.

Good god... I hope i'm not to just talk to myself on here. *frown* that wouldn't be cool.

What names would I use for people though?? I mean... the names I usually would use people already know about. Though a lot of them match the people perfectly. For instance, Mich is such a Nel. But yeah... Nel, Cali, Dani... no... can't be bothered. Too hard, i suppose.

Well, i played around with the colours on this bitch of a thing... and yeah.

I wonder if Kate thought I'd actually try to find her blog? *shrugs* I don't know if I should be reading, really. She writes about Chrissy a lot. So... mm.

You know, blogs are a very very bad thing. For one thing, if i use this i'm going to be rejectng my actual diary. Two, you can't actually KEEP this. It's a website. A diary you can actually see, hold, possess. Thirdly....

...anyone can read this.

Where's the privacy?

I'm always wondered the thing with these. I mean.. you either always update, and write random boring shit. Or you update when it's important, which means you could put something incriminating in here.

That's the problem I'm having with reading Kates. If I read it... what if I could across something I don't like? Something she's said about me.. and I take it to heart. I'm bad like that... when i'm angry, damnit, i'm angry. Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned.

Well.. that doesn't quite apply, but basically, if I'm angry, you just have to sit it out. There is nothing you can do to calm me down, you leave me alone and let me be angry. Or try to sway my mood. But i mean... i hold grudges for ages, or, I hold onto something, store it away, use it for later. I'm so bad like that..

So what if I read something and suddenly get angry and stuff? Oh i don't know.

I did a few random quizzes. Well... one. I'll put it later.

-->Leanne doesn't know yet. Georgia's trying to figure out how she should tell her, that is, if she tells her. I suppose she kind of has to - I mean, Leanne "does have a connection with Heather & Sally". *rolls eyes* << Leanne's words, obviously. <--- ooh. See?? I told you. Damn, did i actually say that?

Well fuck her. I've been screwed around by those two countless times. Then again, i've screwed them around too. *shrugs* im not too angry over that, but I was right. Hah, i am always right.

And i seem to have a thing with italic-ing or bold-ing the word 'always'. Hmm..

-->It's like what Georgie said the other day - apparently Leanne wouldn't let Heather try wearing her fuck-me boots. Leanne thought that Sally would find Heather even more attractive in those boots than she normally did, and if Sally thought that, then Leanne would have absolutely no chance of getting back together with Sally. <--- Ahh, you see, that's semi-true. I didn't want her to wear them, but it was because that was the only thing I had left to cling to of me and sally. My last confidence boost.

Dramatic, damnit, i know i am. And i love it. Except for when i hate it.

Like there is a chance anyway, but that's Leanne for you. Our eternal optimist. *smirks* <--- ooh, now that was bitchy.

* tell Sally I'm over Leanne :| <-- so is she, or not?

Hm... she had a big rant about me. Oh well..

You know, i'm one of the most uncaring people I know. Yet i'm one of the most caring people I know. Wait, that sounds totally stuck up, so i'll take it out. Forget that. Anyway... I care a whole heap. I just..... don't ever know where to actually go.

I want to do one thing, and another thing, and then it's like... I get stuck in the middle. It's exactly like Heather said. I get caught in the middle and sort of just... react.

Sally's on. *sigh* God help me.

I have no idea what's up with that. She seemed pissed off with me today, but she also... well, yeah, that was about it. I know I got pissed off a whole heap. Ick.

ARGH, i'm annoying myself by complaining about Heather so much! It's so frustrating, but I can't help it! It's like.. natural reaction. *shrugs*

I do wish she'd sort of just disappear though... it's like she's deliberately showing up just to piss me off. Except I know she's not. Because that would mean I was important. And i'm not. So there you go.

Do I say something to Sally, do I not.

Say something, Don't say something. Say something, Don't say something. Damnit, which do I do?

Georgia and me are a bit better... well, not really, maybe I'm just learnt to follow my actual line of way.

I was thinking about Kate's whole theory on The Core, and I was going to disagree, but then I realised I should't be, as it's true.

I'm not in the Core, and I'm not really the next layer... and i'm probably on that last layer, and you know why?

I'm perfectly capable of becoming close and in and.. whatever. At least, I think I am. I adapt rather well. I can be myself and still work that. You adapt. I adapt. It all adapts.

But... I can't do that.

I'm part of the outer layer, because I choose to be. Don't get too attatched to something you don't have or want.

It's that line, all over again.

Ooh.. the line'll wait, it's Long Day.

It's sitting by the overcoat, The second shelf, The note she wrote That I can't bring myself to throw away.

Anyway, the line, i'll find it shall i...

*looks for it and groans "oh god i shouldn't feel this way now"*

How do you suppose I do colours?

Cause when you’re in the company of strangers Or just the strangers you call friends You know before you start how it’s gonna end.

let's hope that works, huh?

So yeah... that's basically it. I don't want to get involved again. I want to keep my distance, yet complain that I have it that way. I'm complaining about something I chose.

Sally's offline. 9 minutes... wait, she's back again. Hm.

I actually came up with a cool idea for a story, which I might elaborate on. After all, dad got me these cool note pads... why not use them? Sure, i did ask for them..

I leave you with this quiz. Hehe, ironic I got that one.

Love, Leanne.

Ps. Okay, so I had to put HTML into all this, and i'm confused out of my mind, but oh well. Whatever i'm doing.. ITS WORKING!! So we'll just go with it. Deal? DEAL! YAY. *sighs wearily* leaving. L.

Pps. If i listed all the music that I'd listened to while doing this, it itself would take about a whole page. After all, I finished this at 7:10pm. One hour & 5 minutes later...